I’d like to think this is a complete catalog of game designs that play like finger nails on a chalkboard but I’m a glass is half full kind of guy. Just as I’m sure games will continue to improve both incrementally and in head spinning quantum leaps (sans Scott Bakula). I’m sure this list will grow longer over time.

Without further ado and in alphabetical order based on witty nomenclature:

Always Ending Story

Each battle is set up as the one to end it all. The thrill of victory quickly fades when another task is set before you.

Explaining the Unexplainable

Midicholorians ‘nuff said.

Final Beat Down

It’s been a challenge but now you’re on the final level. Excitement is building. You’re thinking I’ll finish this up and then eat dinner. Five hours later all joy has been beaten out of you by a level so grueling the internet walkthrough hints don’t even make it better.

Repetition

Unlike a joke it doesn’t keep getting better. Unlike a joke it doesn’t keep getting better. Unlike a joke it doesn’t keep getting better.

Sudden Death Syndrome

You turn a corner and you’re dead. Huh? Reload. You turn a corner you’re dead. Oh that was from a trap that you couldn’t possibly avoid unless you knew it was there. Gee that was fun. At least we’re not paying 25 cents a play like Dragon’s Lair.

Spinning Out Of Control

You can drive a car, touch type, play the piano, and juggle all at the same time but there’s no frakking way to make these controls work.

Stupid Plot Syndrome

The game play’s good but your thinking huh? What did they say? That’s the stupidest plot twist I’ve ever heard. Was this written by Michael Bay?

The World Exists For Only Me

While the game allegedly takes place in a populous city it feels like a ghost town where weapons are put on glowing pedestals and terrorists leap from closets where they were presumably standing there for their own amusement.